Shephatiah son of Mattan, Gedaliah son of Pashhur, Jehucal son of Shelemiah, and Pashhur son of Malchiah heard that I was telling the people that the Lord had said, “Whoever stays on in the city will die in war or of starvation or disease. But those who go out and surrender to the Babylonians will not be killed; they will at least escape with their life.” I was also telling them that the Lord had said, “I am going to give the city to the Babylonian army, and they will capture it.”
(Jeremiah 38:1-3) GNT
Any bunch of depraved reprobates like the Clergy has to have started somewhere. We’re going to pick the Clown Show who had Jeremiah imprisoned in a latrine. Of course, portrayed for us IRL by The Usual Suspects.
Disillusioned Exhausted Failures Who Unfortunately Now Corrupted Themselves
A new 12-step program for Clergy whose careers didn’t survive contact with a prophet.
Starring:
- Shephatiah – Neinstein
- Gedaliah – Atheist Seminary Dweeb (Dr. Dweeb)
- Jehucal – Pastor Busybody
- Pashhur/Pelatiah – Darth Blathertube
- King Zedekiah – LGBTQIDIOT
- King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylonia – Vladimir Putin
God’s spirit lifted me up and took me to the east gate of the Temple. There near the gate I saw twenty-five men, including Jaazaniah son of Azzur and Pelatiah son of Benaiah, two leaders of the nation.
(Ezekiel 11:1) GNT
Honorary Members
To be Determined…
- Jaazaniah
- Pelatiah
While I was prophesying, Pelatiah dropped dead. I threw myself face downward on the ground and shouted, “No, Sovereign LORD! Are you going to kill everyone left in Israel?”
(Ezekiel 11:13) GNT
Consequences
- Susan, no longer President of a local University
By your lies you discourage good people, whom I do not wish to hurt. You prevent evil people from giving up evil and saving their lives. So now your false visions and misleading predictions are over. I am rescuing my people from your power, so that you will know that I am the Lord.
(Ezekiel 13:22-23) GNT
Salvation
- Call upon the name of Jesus Christ,
- believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead,
- confess your sin.
