Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. This is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) Good news Translation
So we (that’s me and the Holy spirit (my imaginary friend (sent by my magical sky daddy))) have been practicing golf. Why, of all things, golf? Well, for one, why not golf?
What if we could worship the LORD, the High King of Heaven, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and the savior Jesus Christ, while we’re engaged in recreational activity? Well that’s what we’ve been told to do!
We all have the same evidence. Our choice of paradigm determines what we think it’s evidence of.– Matty’s Razor
There’s a moment of indescribable joy which happens in golf, which is when you’re at the top of your back swing and you know instinctively that it’s going to be a good shot. And then there’s a flood of joy when you strike the ball perfectly and the ball sails off directly at the target. Then you watch the ball roll up to the target. So let’s try and make that happen as much as possible. And why wouldn’t God want that for us, since we’re sharing it with Him and giving Him glory?
There’s a lot going on in a golf swing besides weather conditions and your equipment. There are also mental and physical components which work together. We’re attempting to use our unified theory of everything to teach ourselves how to play golf. This may have the unintended side effect that we become a good golfer, in which case it will be possible to make the case that our golf ability (whatever it may turn out to be) either proves or disproves our theory.
Technique (work in progress)
A particle attracts every other particle in the universe using a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them.
This is a general physical law derived from empirical observations by what Isaac Newton called induction.– Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation
Part of the practice of golf involves the gravitational attraction that exists between a body and all other bodies in the universe. By “body” we mean anything at all, for instance a golf ball is a gravitational body, and so is the pin which is placed in a golf hole.
Newton’s Law of Universal Gravitation
- F force between masses
- G gravitational constant (6.674×10−11 N · (m/kg)2)
- m1 first mass
- m2 second mass
- r distance between the centers of the masses
But that’s only one part of it. We’ve deduced, through four separate lines of deductive reasoning, that each human soul is a gravitational node which inhabits our body. We connect our theory of gravitation to a theory of consciousness through, in part, the Greek word for “mind” phronéma, which embodies the idea of holding on to a thought. The harder we concentrate, the more tightly we hold on to a thought, and this produces a gravitational field.
Mind: φρόνημα – phronéma
- The thought (that which is in the mind),
- thought, purpose, aspirations,
- properly visceral opinion (the innermost, personal level of opinion);
- inner perspective as it determines (regulating) outward behavior, especially as it bears on the outward results (i.e. of exercising personal insight).
- Note the suffix, -ma, pointing to the result of the verbal idea.
- “the results of gut-insight” connects how the individual processes opinion-making to how they act.
Part of the golf swing is a mental discipline which allows us to take gravitation and consciousness as the targeting system, and our body merely provides the energy necessary to propel the ball to the target. There’s a breathing component too, which we’ll attempt to describe. It’s possible to bring all of these things together into a method of learning golf because gravity was created on the second day, giving us Matty’s law of gravitation, as an assembly of souls, and we’re all part of this collective consciousness.
Gravity (A) is a field emitted from a created instance (a singularity) which causes a body to have attractive force (p) proportional to its mass and inversely proportional to the square of its distance from the source (pG).
G is the gravitational constant. This is a general physical law derived from empirical observations by using deduction.– Matty’s Law of Biblical Gravitation
Concentration, phronéma, is the act of holding onto a thought. One way which we’ve found which allows us to develop this skill is to imagine our frontal lobe as a clenching fist. Now, this is probably going to sound weird but for many years now we’ve been aware that it’s possible for us to think with different parts of our brain – consciously. Which is to say, that when we’re aware that we’re allowing all of our thought to concentrate in a particular area, such as the left temple (migraine) or right side generally (pressure headache) we’re able to release the pressure and redirect the activity to another area or just disperse generally.
Years ago, after we got saved, we were having a lot of headaches and were generally ill-at-ease, until we became aware that we were only thinking with the right side of our brain. it felt as if it was inflamed and buzzing in comparison to the left side. We don’t know exactly how,** and it was a long time ago, but – through the process of prayer – we were able to willfully cause our thought processes to pass through the central cortex and into the left side of our brain. This relieved the pressure and we’ve been able to do it ever since, but what has happened over time is that we’re just accustomed to having all of our brain available for thinking.
**actually, we know exactly how, but that’s another story.
We’ve been able to begin a thought process in the very back lower part of our brain, slowly spread upwards and forwards, and then flood through to the frontal lobe, a lot like an orgasm. That was back in the day.
So, we’re aware that our thoughts are taking place in various regions of the brain but, for the purpose of golf targeting, we’re going to actively bring all of our thoughts into our frontal lobe and bear down on them, like clenching a fist or a lady giving birth. We can go through successive rounds of deeper and deeper concentration until, we’re not kidding, a light appears.
You know the glow in your eyes when you’re in darkness and a light comes of? When it’s dark again a glow persists on the retinas as the photo reactive compounds settle down and background returns. You can produce a glow like this with highly concentrated thought.
That’s when you know that you’re ready to start your swing.
The purpose of creation is to bring about the permanent physical separation of light from darkness, day from night, good from evil.– The Purpose of Creation
The act of concentrating like this is pictured by the core accretion model of planet formation, which occurred in response to the creation of gravity on the second day. God stopped time, causing the singularity, by holding onto the thought of all us existing.
Now, technically speaking and in Biblical terms, what we’re doing is sorcery. However, we’re Christian so that means that the only spirit that we can channel is the Holy spirit, and the only source that we can source is the source itself, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
So stone me.
- Call upon the name of Jesus Christ,
- believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead,
- confess your sin.
House of Serenity
Health and Wellness
A cure for the plague
- Accept Jesus Christ as your savior,
- confess your sin.
- On your knees,
- put your head to the ground (if you can)
- chant the name Jesus, Jesus, Jesus….
- until you feel a burning sensation in the affected area
- flush the affected area with cold water, no soap
- dry the affected area with a clean towel
- get some rest.
- Repeat as needed.